Question:
About a month ago I made the worst mistake I have made for a long time. I let my wife and daughter talk me into buying this video game in return for discontinuing cable TV. We had noticed that she had become glued to the wretched games when she visited friends' houses and we had hoped that it would get it out of her system so that she would become more sociable. Unfortunately, it has made her even more fanatical and has shown little sign of improvement. Moreover, she has tended to drop friends who are not into video games and plays almost exclusively with a friend who appears to be equally fanatical, although the friend has had the game for months. I would like to sell the wretched game but my wife is very down on that idea. My other response has been to show absolutely no interest in the game at all but my wife does not follow suit. Rather, my wife tends to limit the time which my daughter can play the game which seems rather counterproductive.
Does anyone know how I should best deal with this obsession? I should point out that my daughter will turn 7 in June.
Answer:
I am sympathetic with both the children and worried parents on this issue. Kids are only interested in toys while they are learning from them and challenged by them. Video games provide lots of challenge, and immediate feedback. Since I have lousy reaction times, I never enjoyed the ones that required a lot of speed, but there are some that are more puzzle oriented that I do enjoy. Your daughter is learning how to succeed at something hard, by trying again and again, and watching herself progress. She is solving complex problems. She is learning about what sort of things she is good at. There really is some cognitive growth happening! No parent wants such lessons confined only to the TV screen, but if that's where they are happening right now for her, well, great! The lessons are there, and she is very receptive the the medium right now.
I am currently "obsessed" with usenet...and I suspect the obsession will last for quite a while, as I am unlikely to stop learning from it any time soon. I have been "obsessed" with computers since the days of paper tape and acoustic modems. Lucky for me, this obsession occasionally allows me to pay some bills, and is in general considered to have positive social value. Lucky for my family, I work to balance my interest in computers with my interest in being a mom to my children, being a wife to my husband, living in a clean house, eating regular meals, having a life in the community etc. This kind of balance has to be renegotiated on a daily basis, and I think it's a skill we hone over time. A seven year old can be shown that life in society requires learning to strike such balances, and that as parents, you have the responsibility to impose such a balance until she is able to work it out for herself.
